There are so many upsides to being an OB-GYN resident, to being able to participate in the experiences I do, see amazing things on a daily basis, that sometimes I forget the downsides. Being tired is, of course, a biproduct, but it's my patience that takes the real hit. The gradual shift in perspective is best summed up by the mental thought change from "Oh boy, this one is going to be a doozy. Deep breath," to "I will not have this shit, Lord. I will not have it."
Tonight I was following a labor patient who is also a hospital employee, and she ended up requiring a C-section. As it turns out, she specifically requested that I not be involved. Hard to say why, as she only said that I was nice, but she just didn't like me. Not much I can do with that. It's hard not to let that kind of thing get to you.
I suppose I should be more aware of my surrounding and interactions. I've never seen this woman in my life, but at some point she decided she didn't like what she saw. I know that you cannot make everyone like you, and I have less of an interest in that outcome than I used to have--but. A bit more mindfulness, and a bit less "I will not have this shit, Lord" may help.
