Mirror

"You don't remember me but I remember you/I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you/But who can decide what they dream? and dream I do..." --Taking Over Me, Evanescence

I wake to see you lurking there
Demon child of my nightmares
You're my mirror and my own worst enemy
A painful fragment no one else can see
The haunting reminder of myself
Caught in the picture sitting on my shelf
Above my computer screen
Could almost make me scream
I want to shout, "Don't you see?"
To my personal demon who is me
The laughing girl my dreams recreate
Only exists until I'm awake
She cannot understand the rejection, so much
And doesn't remember it until morning when our glances touch
And the horror when she does is so deep
That she hides again until I sleep
When I must wake to remember what has been lost
Sleep is almost not worth the cost
Reality is knife-sharp when
That last night is dreamed over and over again

Change

The nature of the world
Changes with the sky at twilight
Letting go of the flickering
Burning sunlight
Shifting to something cooler
More steady then the day
I find that when the daylight fades
I also shift this way
Into someone quiet and remote
Motionless and still
Carefully watching and waiting
Wistful sometimes, wishing I
Could always be bright
But silently shrug and sigh
Like the moon I have a dark side
As clear as the midnight hour is when
The moon is bright, yet for all that
Only full now and then
And as I draw back into the shadows
I don't even need to ask why
She keeps her lonely nature hidden
For so, I find,
Do I

Come

Come with us, be one with us
The endless dark waves sigh
We promise nothing, and give you all
And the ocean never lies
Come with us, be one with us
Let seashells ring your hair
And seaweed twine your ankles
Leave your light and air
Come with us, be one with us
Now you're stepping in
For the riptide pulls you out to sea
And the ocean calls again
Come with us, be one with us
The water now grows deep
The sea has kept its promises
For you are hers to keep

Doesn't Care

My feet find only shifting sand
Staring out to sea
In the fading light, and so tonight
Twilight holds no peace for me

Rhythmically my doubts flood in
Wash out footprints behind
Like pounding waves that mark ships graves
For the sea is never kind

And tonight I cannot hear your voice
Though I need to feel you there
I whisper "it's true", that I know you
But the ocean does not care

Black Riders

Hear the black riders coming
Above the wind’s keening
Hear feet flying fleet
Though you think you are dreaming

Whipping capes made of shadow
Their horses of night
All about you they shout
As they race the moonlight

Whooping, hallooing,
They ride through the trees
Loud yells ring like bells
As their hooves pound the leaves

The wild ride flies on
Black riders exalting
Eyes strain through the rain
But they will not be halting

Galloping, galloping
No true shape or form
Though you stare, nothing’s there
But the wind and the storm

Glance

She stopped dead on the sidewalk
An adrenaline rush for a small moment in time
Frozen by a familiar shrug of the shoulders
Or perhaps the way his head inclined
A few more seconds and recognition fades
And a perfect stranger walks on unknowing
The exquisite agony of a single glance
Was the reason her steps had for slowing

He Is

He is quick to laugh
Slow to criticize
An embrace waiting to happen
Random dance steps on a crowded street
Not caring who watches
He is thoughtful
And stronger then he thinks
Surprisingly insightful
And compassionate beyond his years
So annoyingly good at hiding his feelings
But always telling the truth with his eyes
He is a sudden flash of intuition
And a mischievous light kindling on his face
Laughing disgust at mushrooms
And good-natured razzing on the soccer field
He is endlessly enthusiastic
And ready for anything, anytime, anywhere
Totally clueless when it comes
To realizing his own attractiveness
He is procrastination
Carried to the limits and beyond
He is comfortable silence in a car
And a wink across a crowded room
He is sadness sometimes showing through
And still totally beautiful
In a totally guy sort of way
He is a hand and "I've got you"
He is a prayer
And an answer at the same time
He is a shrug when life gets annoying
And protective of those he cares for
He is a tousled head and a sleepy hug
Reaching over from the next sleeping bag
He is a challenge
A hand reaching back in invitation
He is everything to me
He is

Twilight

Twilight
Relentlessly overtaking the sky
Darkening to blue
And black
Broken by starlight
And the moon where it thoughtfully
Contemplates
Us so far below
Caught in the hour
Between day and true night
Suspended between the grass and trees
Swung by the wind
This is my time
When it ceases to exist
Only starshine flickering through the restless leaves
And on my face
Changes with its passing
Slowly swinging across the sky
To places I want to be
Wanting to share this moment
With its elusive beauty
Before it dissolves into memory
But only the cool north wind
Appears
To run quicksilver fingers
Through my hair
As, alone, I welcome the night

Time

If I could capture all of time
In just a simple song or rhyme
Hold true to just one memory
Of pain or joy or revelry
Releasing all my past regrets
Nuances the mind forgets
I would stop time or at least try
But I cannot, and wonder why

Glass

Somebody
(I cried silently)
Lift me back into time
The world where people laugh and love
A silent call for help
While I beat on the glass
Wall of a lonely prison (of my own making)
Hurt, mistrust, even still some rage
Fear of the danger that freedom could bring
Because I discovered the other side of love
Futilely wishing that the walls around me were shattered
(Like the promises that brought me there)
Shivering in the cold emptiness
Huddled against the wall
Wanting the sun to warm my icy hands
Startled to find my own tears
Life is meant to be shared, and even though
The time you touched was a lifetime ago
I spent too much time (alone) behind that wall
Of wariness and mistrust of the words "I promise"
(Because, after all
I wouldn't be alone...if that were true)
And I swore I'd never lie to you
That vow was kept--I never have
Is it so wrong to have expected the same back?
The wall has melted down to nothing
(That's what love does)
The sun is warm and I can see
But I still shiver when a stray breeze
Blows whispers of the ice through me
And I probably always will
But still

Mind Music

Resonance
The sound of tired hearts combining
Realigning
Into unity
A vibrant match of heart and souls
Strangers just perhaps in mind
But in actuality
Our different rhythms redefining
Meeting, greeting, sharing, found
A common harmony

Cadence
All our lives intertwining
Old ways dying
Creating serenity
Even as we grow closer still
And become who we really are in
Possibility
All focusing on giving
Caught up in the song of living
And tuned so perfectly

Persistance
Uniquely every note supplying
Our music, underlying
A welcomed blend of gallantry
Each one of us a clear strong tone
Blending into a single strain
With lovely symmetry
Sometimes a minor chord or two
But always the melody breaking through
We fit amazingly

Dissonance
Hating distance, yet still trying
Sometimes humming
A restless melody
The long days missing needed pieces
Hating, now, to be alone
Forgotten memory
Yet still connected by a song
With those to whom I belong
It still surprises me

Untouchable

This one comes from the Great Road Trip of 2008, simply put one of the best times of my life.

Jagged
Snow crusted rocks forcing
Sharp edges into the sky
Reflecting light like icy daggers
Challenging the clouds for right
To touch the stars
Standing against the surging
Of black, rolling storms
Islands in oceans of air
Immovable in a world where
The ground is solid as shifting sand
Dunes
On the horizen
Curving skyline constantly changing
Snaking lines and sheer edges
Falling off
In watery cascades of sand
Shaped by the wind
Whistling over miles of flat
Scrub bushes
And rushing sheer red canyon walls
Updrafts
Hawks and eagles
Flung upwards to hover
Unmindful of the world so many
Thousands of feet below
Fiercely watchful golden eyes
Raptor intelligence
Tilting a wing to veer suddenly
Impossibly
Curvingly away over the land
Snow and sand and water passing
Rapidly underneath
Following the contours of wilderness so
Untouchable
Hidden valleys known only
To herds of elk
Wary
But secure in their isolation
Sequestered in miles of pine and lakes
Deep and cold
Reflecting a perfect sky
Their world
Unforgiving and gentle still
Ebb and flow
In perfect balance