Lullaby for the Evening

Wake now, little wild thing
The sun has gone to bed, and we
Until the hour of daylight comes
Are loosed to wander free

To wander free, little wild one
To stretch and run, to greet the night
Shake the sleep from you, and then
Give in to your delight

Give in to your lively playfulness
Oh wild one so small
But don’t forget to wander home
When daylight starts to fall

Midnight Lullabies

Recently I found myself humming this beatiful little melody, so I made words for it and turned it into a lullaby.

Hush now, little love of mine
The night is still young
The moon is still rising, the stars haven't sung

Hush now, little love of mine
The moon lights your face
The night breezes whisper, the stars dance in place

Hush now, little love of mine
Blink the night from your eyes
The stars have all hidden to watch the sun rise

Perfect Stranger

This is from sometime this summer...not quite sure when.

A perfect stranger is flawless
As far as you can see
A justifiable perception
When outside reality
A sidelong glance and a cautious smile
Perhaps a quick “hello” after a while
To ease the silence when you meet
And familiarity will bring its flaws
Time counteracts unconcious deceit
Reveals quirks and ready laughter
And I’m happy now because
The perfect stranger became, in the end
No longer a stranger, no longer perfect
But a friend

I Tried

I tried to be honest, I tried to be real
But perfection was out of my reach
So I gave up completely
Turned my back on your presence
I tried to forget I could feel

But I sense you tonight
And I'm shocked that the stars can be so bright
When the night is so dark
Or perhaps it's just the black of my heart
The darkness I couldn't conceal
But I can feel again

I had wandered alone after I pulled away
Until my soul was small and chilled
Keeping my heart frozen hurt less
But the pain was relentless
‘Til you woke what I thought I had killed

So God, I'll be honest, and I'm scared to death
Here with my back to the wall
Face to face with my self
All my own inner demons
It seems that they're all I have left

But I feel you tonight
And I'm shocked that the stars can be so bright
When the night is so dark
Perhaps it’s not my heart
Could it be that the black wasn't real
For I can feel again

After so long can you blame me for pausing
A little afraid and slightly unsure
Is it true I'm not evil
Not alone or abandoned
Is it possible that I never was

I can feel, oh yes I can sense you now
All the brightness and sadness and love that you are
You’ve taken my pain and threw it so far away
So far, so very far

For I feel you tonight
And rejoice in the stars that carry heaven's light
Midnight will never be so dark
With this silver light in my heart
I'll never be alone in the night
It's all right--I can feel you again

Masquerade

Twirl me through this masquerade
Through flying streaks of color
Laugh behind some masks we've made
And cry behind the others
I'll catch a glimpse of what's behind
The truths your eyes conceal
So look, for who know what you'll find?
Search my face--I'm real
I'm done with leaving things to chance
Suprised I got so far
Dare with me to end this dance
Around who we truly are

'Twas the Night

‘Tis the night before Christmas—but the tales I contest
For I find that on Christmas Eve there is no rest
My mom just put up our fake tree, for Pete’s sake
And I guarantee the thing won’t come down ‘til spring break
Our "green Christmas" is brown and appallingly mild
And the insane little foster kid is driving us wild
Not a soul can catch Remy, much less try to mind him
As he flies through the party, leaving chaos behind him
My dog keeps on barking as people show up
And nobody keeps track of their red plastic cup
I hope my sheriff uncle doesn’t wander up here
Because I think Jeff just shot one of Santa’s reindeer
Later, when the adults chatsy amongst themselves,
I think that we young ones will hunt down some elves
In our warm living room, a fire blazes away
And nobody’s hungry—we’ve been “grazing” all day
The boys ran out to rent movies, though any fool knows
That come Christmas Eve, the stores are all closed
They raced through the rain, got there five minutes late
But they missed out on sympathy, ‘cause we thought it was great
What a warped senses of humor—only Alex would try
And induce my poor mommy to watch “Family Guy”
The party would have lasted a bit longer, I suppose
If Remy hadn’t gone streaking, after shedding his clothes
So ‘tis the night before Christmas, with my strange family
Yet I know that I love them, and that they love me

Curbside

Curbside.
The growl of cars rolling by within arm’s reach, taking seconds of rap music, country, rock and roll with them. None stay long enough to compete with the old harmonica man across from me. Blues belted out from under a crazy tilted hat, cracked lips singing under closed eyes. People yelling from the river races provide background with bells from the playground, splash and dash of fountains, peals from wind chimes. Shrill gossip from old women enjoying the sun, sudden chime of a shop door bell announcing entry, faint scuff of cats feet on the railing far above. The quick tapping of little feet in time with giggles from an escaping toddler, joyful with five seconds of freedom.
Street music’s not like any other music, laid together with steady pressure like palms of hands or notes chasing each other like children. It’s insistent beat, a chin-up and rush of skateboard wheels and casual talk and walk. I should get up and join in, dance on the sidewalk, add my own bit of rhythm to the city. But the sun is warm here, and as I hesitate, faintly my heartbeat sounds in my ears, adding its own, unique unfaltering pulse to the music.
So I smile, and settle back on curbside, just another beat on the street.

God Help Me

The rain is falling down darkly
Sliding down to mingle with the salt on my face
Soundlessly falling to the ground so far below
Eyes staring sightlessly
Reflecting under their surface
The wet black emptiness of the dark
Water trailing cold fingers down
The back of my neck
I wish my heart was as icy
Instead of this burning and twisting wreck
Clenching as painfully as my fingers
Twisted together as if they were one
The only thing I have to hold on to now
Finally my arms are no longer enough
My will is not strong enough
To contain the pain inside
Passing what I can stand and passing it again
And again and again
Until I break
Into a thousand pieces and now
Cracking a little more as each cry escapes
Shoulders shaking in the effort
To be invisible
Here alone, with only the cold, wet wind
To wrap around me
I may be silent now but I'm still screaming
A desperate cry for help
That echoes but never gets an answer back
And through the bewilderment my mind whispers
When will this be over
And what will I be
God help me

Wish for Me

Twinkle indeed may the stars
I simply wonder where you are
And what name the world calls you by
What makes you smile, what makes you cry
And what it means to you, to be free
And if you wonder about me
Can you stand and face your fears
And what would you think of my tears
Who are you when you're all alone
I wish I knew where you called home
When you watch the stars, what do you see
And do you ever wish for me
I wonder how you speak and dress
If you know the pain of loneliness
And if music runs through your veins, too
Do you see the world the way that I do?
Someday we'll know, and I guess I'll see
If you ever think of me

Sing the Moon

What calls me awake, I do not know
But my wandering feet draw me to the window
Brushing the curtains off to the side
Moonlight slides through my fingertips
A radiance that night cannot hide
To blend with dreams in shadowed corners
The wind like softly crying mourners
I've seen the effect a gale can take
Whether the chill of winter, or summer's heat
You either bend, or you will break
But it pulls a smile from my lips
A hurricane force that can sink ships
Is content tonight to simply brush my hair aside
Autumn's scent is on the breeze
A wonder, how I feel so alive
When death is coming to the trees
Even now the air holds a bitter chill
For winter is coming to freeze and kill
But for now I stand alone in a shadowed room
Hearing the leaves blow where they will
Watching starlight patterns on my skin
Softly singing to the moon

Patched Girl

I like this half of who I can be

A dark army jacket and shoes with patched toes
Music flowing through cords hidden under her coat
To a tiny red iPod, a gift from the past
And a reminder that things that you love may not last
Speaking what she cannot in rhythms she feels
Black hood pulled down tight over a face she conceals
Under an equally black beanie to combat the cold
Open-kneed jeans no department store sold
Rips coming from time and a few nasty hard falls
And life as it tore down and built up new walls
But there's no defiance when you meet her eyes
Laughter has balanced all the tears that she's cried
A quick quirky chin-up is her take on the day
As the tattoo beat from her patched shoes fades away

Mirror

"You don't remember me but I remember you/I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you/But who can decide what they dream? and dream I do..." --Taking Over Me, Evanescence

I wake to see you lurking there
Demon child of my nightmares
You're my mirror and my own worst enemy
A painful fragment no one else can see
The haunting reminder of myself
Caught in the picture sitting on my shelf
Above my computer screen
Could almost make me scream
I want to shout, "Don't you see?"
To my personal demon who is me
The laughing girl my dreams recreate
Only exists until I'm awake
She cannot understand the rejection, so much
And doesn't remember it until morning when our glances touch
And the horror when she does is so deep
That she hides again until I sleep
When I must wake to remember what has been lost
Sleep is almost not worth the cost
Reality is knife-sharp when
That last night is dreamed over and over again