My cat:
Oh look, the human finally decided to drag itself out of bed today, and it's smelling especially repulsive. Not only is it bleary-eyed, it's stumbling in the opposite direction of my food cans--and it is 37, wait, 38 minutes late in feeding me. This is unacceptable. Good morning, human. You think I'm twining around your ankles and purring because I'm glad to see you, but really, I'm going to trip you and break your neck if you don't turn around and head to the kitchen. Now. There you go, that's right. Yes, hurry up. You think that was a love bite on your ankle, but I just licked my butt with that tongue and it's going to break skin if you don't hurry up.
My dog:
Warm, sunny day hurrah let's get outside as fast as I can! Sniff around, run run run in circles for no reason, barking because my voice is strong and makes a splendid noise! Wow that smells interesting, looks like Spark came by here last night and marked my post. I will pee on it even more, to show him who's boss. Yes, I wi--SQUIRREL! Run wildly after it, barking! It flees before my mighty roar! Oh oh OH dig here, at the base of this tree, smells like a badger or even a whole fleet of bears! See the dirt fly! Yes, I will dig forever and catch it! Like I dug to bury my bone...here. No, wait, maybe over here...nope. Perhaps I put it HUMAN HUMAN HUMAN MY HUMAN IS HOME! OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY!!!
Which is why I like cats but have a dog instead.
7 comments:
haha, wow, nice. I didn't see that ending coming at all. Dogs are awesome. I've always felt more of an affinity towards dogs than cats.
"A whole fleet of bears!"
:-)
this was utterly insightful; a conclusion unrivaled; go cats
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My kitten just wrote that on your keyboard... lol lyssa ur so funny. It is an interesting perspective but i will disagree because i am a fan of cats especially one little tiny kitten names emesis.
I WANT A KITTEN. Or a puppy. Whatever. If it's small and cute and furry, I LOVE IT. I just don't like cats in the house...nope...
Emesis? Alex, you rock my world.
I can't help feeling that the Dog paragraph has too much punctuation . . .
In any case, good post, insightful, truth, oboy, fleet of bears, um so wieder and so forth.
Hahaha Robby, I'd have to agree with that.
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