Awareness.
It is always emotion that drags me out of oblivion. In those brief seconds between sleeping and waking, I struggle to separate reality from the vague remnants of a dream.
This morning, the emotion was loss. I don't know why.
It's so sudden, the transient moment between darkness and daylight, and it fades so quickly. It leaves me to begin my day with questions.
What would I have changed, if I could live yesterday over again? What do I regret, what do I cling to, what leaves me excited about living today? What have I learned? What unexpected gifts were handed to me? What direction am I going, and why?
What will joy look like today?
*This is super rough and I'm dissatisfied with what I got across, and what I didn't. I shall try again tomorrow. Until then...
6 comments:
Embrace pain; eschew regret.
It's one of the only wise things I've managed to learn in my life, and I've done so the worst possible way (experience).
I wish you a better day tomorrow.
I keep quoting this: "Time passes, and every time the time passes, there is something that fades" -- Jules Romains.
Anyway, this is an interesting juxtaposition to the blogpost about regret I just read. "Live and embrace what you feel because people regret most what they have not done" with "let's question where we are and what we are doing and examine our regrets."
Last night, driving home from a ridiculous movie a friend begged me to watch with her, I was hit by this overwhelming sense of doom not unlike the sense of loss you experienced. I, too, did not know why. I still don't, really, except that I know I must cling to God and am trying to do so.
So, yeah, if it helps at all, both of us have questions.
"Embrace pain. Eschew regret."
I like that. I should write about that more.
I would beg a question of you: Do you write in order to resolve your problems? Or do you write because you have?
Because I noticed I jumped in like a typical man and offered my opinion. Foolish of me, I know.
Not foolish--just a misunderstanding.
This isn't a problem, really. Just a process I go through to, hopefully, let me see where I've been, and choose how I let it affect me. Everybody does this, I think. I just happen to do it as I'm waking up. Sorry if that's too pragmatic.
Well, I'm glad that's all cleared up, then.
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