God Help Me

The rain is falling down darkly
Sliding down to mingle with the salt on my face
Soundlessly falling to the ground so far below
Eyes staring sightlessly
Reflecting under their surface
The wet black emptiness of the dark
Water trailing cold fingers down
The back of my neck
I wish my heart was as icy
Instead of this burning and twisting wreck
Clenching as painfully as my fingers
Twisted together as if they were one
The only thing I have to hold on to now
Finally my arms are no longer enough
My will is not strong enough
To contain the pain inside
Passing what I can stand and passing it again
And again and again
Until I break
Into a thousand pieces and now
Cracking a little more as each cry escapes
Shoulders shaking in the effort
To be invisible
Here alone, with only the cold, wet wind
To wrap around me
I may be silent now but I'm still screaming
A desperate cry for help
That echoes but never gets an answer back
And through the bewilderment my mind whispers
When will this be over
And what will I be
God help me