Just another one

Today I stared into the eyes of a tiny boy with brown skin and big brown eyes. He stared back without a blink. No smile. Just a question. And I couldn't answer it. I couldn't explain to this tiny scrap of humanity why life had hurt him so bad. Why his uncle/father/relative sold him to modern-day slavers who abused his body and stole his soul before he even knew he had one to take. And the horrific injustice of it burned from behind my eyes down to my fingertips in a wave of white-hot rage. I would have given anything to have prevented what happened to him, and I couldn't. And it broke my heart.

I don't understand the love of God. I am only now coming to grips with how he can stand to allow the pain and terror his innocents suffer. To realize his heart breaks too. That his grief is so much more vast than my own. That tiny boy, He holds close to his heart. But I do not think I will ever be able understand how he can look into the eyes of the man who raped that boy, did unspeakable things, and in His love simply see another hurting child, hiding under the bed in terror of what he has become.

To see like God. To look "evil" in the eye and see the lost child behind the warped excuse for humanity. I don't know how to do this. But I begin to understand that to see like God is another step towards being able to love like God.

I want to see like God. I know it's painful in the extreme, and honestly, I'm not sure what I would find to do with my fury.

But I want this.