Day of Choices

7:49am
Wake up call. Mom's already up and cleaning up the kitchen--we left it be last night so we could just talk together in front of the fire before we slept. I should go help.

11:32am
Keep feeling these slow waves of panic shuddering through me. Everything is so empty, last night home is over, the fire's out. Packing progresses, but slowly. The more we get done the more I can see has to get done before the day is over. If I keep busy, it keeps the panic away. But I don't want to leave.

5:05pm
Getting tired now. Amanda has announced that she's done for the night. We still have hours left to pack, and she wants to stop. EVERYBODY wants to stop, but we don't. It's so much harder to keep hauling load after load over to Grandpa's with all this snow.

7:22pm
Wicked nasty cramps, so I can't tell if the nausea is from PMS or just that leaving is making me ill. Too bad all the meds are packed up. I'm so tired--my feet are killing me, and I don't think this kitchen will ever be empty. I just want to go home. What a joke.

9:45pm
We've stopped for the night. One more load to cart over, but we're all bone-weary and need to sleep. One bathroom for six of us, now. Everything is so cramped here--I'm used to wide spaces and silence and privacy. Not sure I can do this. Have to do this.

10:02
Just broke down. Guess all the panic caught up to me. Still have to do this.