If nobody cares, that's ok. But if there is anybody out there who does have an opinion, I just want to state, loud and clear--
I am not selling out by going to Loma Linda.
I've been getting that reaction from everyone over the past few days. They hear I'm accepted, they ask if I'm going to go, and when I say "probably", they all look surprised and then say, "Oh, I thought you were going to West Virginia? I guess you couldn't stand up to the peer pressure after all." (Ok, maybe they just think that part. But they do think it. Trust me).
And part of this is my fault, I know. Because over the past two years, I've said, Well, everybody wants to go to Loma Linda, but there's a DO school really near home, and it makes more financial sense, so I'd rather go there. And in this, I have now realized, I lied. I, who hate dishonesty more than anything else I can think of.
I suppose I thought it made sense. Because I didn't think I could get in--and I didn't think I could afford to go, financially, even if I did. Because mom and dad didn't want me to have to take out loans, and who can afford to pay for an out-of-state med school without loans? And I love them for that. But I don't window shop--if I can't have something, I don't even consider it. And so my damn pride and fatalism won out, and I stopped assuming I would go there, shrugged, and made a play for WV whenever anybody asked me. And in this I lied, and I am sorry.
But if I'm not going to be family practice, then I need as much exposure to variety as I can get--and WV doesn't offer that. My dad told me he thinks I should go to Loma Linda, and since he's the financial backer and he came over to that side, well, that's pretty wild. And I liked it out there. And I got in, and I'm willing to take out loans to go. And I'm not going out there to look for a husband, and I refuse to feel guilty because that's even a factor. I am quite self-sufficient, thank you very much.
And there are so many factors, and there are so many good schools. And LLUSM just happened to have a few more things going for it. Trust me, I thought about it long enough. I should know. So there's my reasoning. If you don't care, that's fine. If you do, I didn't "sell out." I just thought my life was taking a detour that it wasn't. So don't assume.
(Thia, I'm not talking to you. I'm talking about people who know much less and say much more. I should just be saying it to their faces, but I think some passive-aggressiveness might have worn off on me. *snorts in a most unladylike fashion*).
(Family, I'm not talking to you either. You know who you are.)
8 comments:
Aww, I know what you mean. You'll be fine. You go where you want to go, and people will eventually stop bugging you.
I don't know. I don't think you lied. You were trying to be reasonable with the information you had.
Captcha says "rumbles." So there's that?
This was a good explanation; I'm glad I read it.
I don't think you should have to justify yourself to your friends. If they're your friends . . . where's the acceptance?
(I say, only just having met you and also done it by creeping and while we're on the topic of creeping: you should know that Janelle and I are obsessive commenters and you should by no means feel obligated by our comments)
I don't think you should feel that way. I really, really don't.
No--you guys are fine. I, having just had a refreshing conversation with my best friend, am also more fine than I was. But not like the girl in Rob's post. :)
You guys ARE pretty obsessive *laughs*, but I rather like it. I've been trying to get my people to blog for years, and it hasn't worked, so ya'll are quite fun.
Oh, and my friends? They don't give me grief. That's who I was talking about when I said "family."
:D
TA DA! Good for you!
It's just I have talked to enough people who are all like "My friends don't like this about me," that I just calmly say "are they really your friends, then?" and usually get a long, awkward silence and eventually an embarrassed head droop.
I don't know. I just think you should pick the people you find worthwhile very carefully.
Captcha says "swigness." Epic.
And also: noted. I'm glad you enjoy our obsessiveness. You seem to have weaknesses for all of our ridiculousness: creep and commentmadness notwithstanding.
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