Woman

I'm flying out to Cali on Thursday for my LLUSM interviews. I'm nervous on so many levels! First and foremost being that we're going to fly through a massive, nationwide snowstorm. The rest just follows as a matter of course.

So, I woke up on Saturday morning, and sometime while I slept, my mind had made itself up. What a cessession of misery! It's usually a 30-second process. Having it stretch for weeks was wild, let me tell you. But anyway, I woke up with everything laid out transparently.

I'm accepted to WVSOM. At this point, there is nothing else to discuss. However, if I fly out to Cali and fall in love with it, and they accept me, then I will take out loans and head west for medical school. Which is what I want. Which is what I have always wanted, even though I buried it because I thought it wasn't possible.

But, maybe it is.

I also realized that pretty much every checkpoint for the last few weeks has been full of angst and waffling and irritating annoyance. And I thought, dang, what am I doing to my senior year? Where'd the joy go?

So here's my joy for the day--an awesome voicemail from an awesome friend. We played phone tag for hours, and this was just one of the messages she left.

"Woman! Woman, you are--you are killing me inside. You are absolutely killing me. Call me back, woman. Call me back."

Bec only calls me woman when she can't decide whether to be exasperated or affectionate. I imagine God calls me woman too. Maybe that's what woman actually means and that's why God gifted our gender with the name.