Grace Note

I almost died yesterday. Again. Sheesh.

(I'm going to tell this story, JG, and you absolutely shouldn't read it again because you were there and I know you're still freaking out, and I'm going to tell what happened, and you're not going to like it...)

We went swing dancing at Ryan's house this past evening. Ryan is a new acquaintance who is rapidly becoming a new friend, and he has an amazing big living room with a hardwood floor, and his mother is lovely. But that's besides the point.

The point is that we were practicing arial swing, which involves a lot of flips. I'm all for that--I love dancing passionately, and I would kill to be able to pull these wild moves with as much grace as I've seen other people do.

Anyhow, there was something Reed and I were going to try. It involves the girl standing in front of the guy, braced on his hands. She bounces high on her toes and does a back roll over his shoulder, landing on her feet behind him while still keeping hold of his hands. Foolproof, right? I've even done it before, in gymnastics. But I was  a little worried, so I called over two of my friends (who shall remain nameless) to spot me.

This is where I messed up, and I take full responsibility for this. I'm so used to spotting and safety stuff that I forgot to specify how--and where--and when they were supposed to do so. I just gave vague directions on where they should stand, so I wouldn't kick them, and got ready to rock. I took another practice bounce, and then jumped up, rolled back, and tucked.

I'm still not sure what actually happened. I think that the friend who was behind me was confused about what I was doing and where I was going. I do know that I rolled over the back of Reed's shoulder, parallel to the floor with my legs tucked to my chest, and was about to straighten them and land. It was going beautifully. Then, my friend grabbed my feet.

My backward roll reversed, and I crashed down into the floor on my face, still mostly tucked. I should have kept a hold on Reed's hands, but I let go to try and catch myself. I wasn't quick enough.

I did turn my head. I was fast enough for that. So, instead of a broken nose, the side of my face took most of the impact. That, a little on my hands, and some on my right knee. My leg didn't bruise, though, and since I bruise when someone sneezes on me, that should tell you how much force my neck took. (As I sit here, I'm trying to work it out--sore as heck.)

I did cry. I tried not to, but I did. Just for a moment, laying there on my back with the three of them looking down at me, and freaking out in my head because I had an awful flashback to last spring break, after the snowmobile had crashed and I was sprawled on the ice, completely alone in the dark, and I thought I had died. I thought my back was broken and I was so afraid. And that's what I remembered. Also, it didn't help that I could feel grit between my teeth. Just a tiny chip out, but that scared me too. It took me a while to calm down. But I did.

So, they got me ice, and after a few minutes I was ok. I didn't really think about what had happened. Besides, it was too lovely of a night not to dance more. Nearly becoming a quad besides the point, it was one of the most fun Saturday nights I've had.

That was yesterday--since then, I've had headaches pretty badly, on and off, come and go. There's a knot on the side of my head and the faintest bruising on one cheekbone, but not enough to notice. My toes are slightly blistered from the dancing. There are good things, too; I found somebody whose rhythm perfectly, perfectly matches my own. I danced with another person who I thought hated me, and found out that he's really pretty fun when he wants to be--we might even end this year on a note of grace. I taught another boy how to--as he put it--stop dancing like a robot, and I saw a beautiful full moon on a perfect night.

I'm still trying not to consider my own mortality. I greatly dislike reminders that I possess such a thing. That, and my head really hurts, so I've been pretty grumpy all day. If any of you have crossed my path and I snapped, I'm sorry.

But, truly, thank God.