more bloody lines

I'm not sure my heart is good for many more knocks. At least not without damage.

I love debating between my friends. Some of them are so precious when they get worked up! Everything from Lord of the Rings chronology to the proper seepage time of jamaica leaves--every side argued with skill and style, or at least enthusiam. Especially with LotR.

We talked about jewelry and dress this evening at dinner. As one of the two that don't have pierced ears, I tend to advocate that simple is better. Therefore, I kept out of it tonight, because I didn't want to bring discord into the house on Sabbath--but I think there's something not quite right with the line of reasoning that "Jewelry is just fine. There are a lot of people who do it out of rebellion, but that's not why we do it. Old people just focus on the effects of your spiritual life instead of worrying about the actual God-relationship itself. We shouldn't have to change what we do because it bothers them. They shouldn't judge us." All of which are true.

Except that, the reason the "old people" think it's so alarming when young people pierce their ears is that it usually IS a sign of rebellion. Remember the whole "fruits" thing? To my idea of common sense, it is rational to avoid something if it is practiced by people I don't want to be associated with. I'm not going to dye my hair black and dress like a Goth--not because there's anything wrong with that, but because 99% of the people who do, do not exhibit characteristics which I want attributed to me! Yet if I did dress like that, could I blame people who assumed that's what I was like? Could I blame them for being offended if I was claiming to be somebody else, representing God, while still taking on all the appearance of someone who is not?

And, actually, when the people in Acts were eating meat offered to idols, which was perfectly fine because they didn't believe the idols were holy anymore, they offended people. People were bothered that they would do something like that, because they themselves still struggled with idol worship. But the people eating the meat just saw it as a way to save money, since they got it discounted after the heathens used it. How practical! It appeals to me.

But what did the apostles tell those thrifty Jews (or was it the Jews who were offended? I don't remember. "Thrifty Jews" just has a nice ring).

Stop eating the idol-sacrificed meat.

Wow. You know, I think that if I had lived then and gotten half-price lamb, I would have been offended. How dare they judge me because something I do bothers them? There's nothing wrong with what I'm doing.

Sounds familiar, doesn't it? Still. Stop eating the cheap meat.

But I didn't say any of this tonight. Not yet. People were having so much fun with this conversation that it would have taken a lot of lung power to make myself heard, and I don't roll that way. I just sat there and fidgited and practiced my invisibility.

The conversation ended with a friend saying that we need to live according to how we actually believe--all of us, old and young. He feels that the old people live more conservatively than they actually believe, and the young people more liberally. But he ended with a strong statement of things we need to be doing, such as keeping the Sabbath focused solely on God, and being different from those around us in our actions and purpose--not necessarily what we look like. Hmm. Well. There are some good things in there. The debate ended on what felt like a good note.

In fact, I was enjoying myself. A lovely Friday evening in Southern Village, leaning back against the couch and falling asleep as another friend combed my hair with her fingers. Around me, talk hummed in a contented fashion as we simply enjoyed each other's company, after flinging some mad scrummy nosh (translation: eating really good food). I was so contented!

And then...two of my friends casually started setting up speakers and a computer. Of course, I never let go of consciousness enough to miss anything odd happening in my vicinity, so I wake up to find that they have every intention of watching a movie. With plans to watch an episode of their favorite show afterwards.

I was dumbfounded. A movie? Did we not just finish saying that we had to live out our faith, particularly and specifically with keeping Sabbath all about God? What about standards? How are we any different?

I said goodnight and left early, and that question has haunted every step since. The friend I left with walked me to my car. I hesitatingly said her name, and she sighed and said, "I know." Neither one of us could answer it, this question of mine. How can some things be so clear to me, and yet to others they are opaque? Is it a question of raising, a question of theology, or a question of lifestyle? When do we acknowledge grey and when is there a time to take a stand on right and wrong? And am I right to feel disappointed again?

Again with the lines.